I am very new to Instagram and the blogging world. I have avoided social media up until recently because I felt that the images produced on these sites were a warped reality that I did not exist in, nor believe in. Particularly in 2020 when most of us are at home sitting in loungewear just trying to survive. Needless to say I struggle with how to show off a well-edited life on social media when most days I just want to wear a bathrobe, watch The Office for the millionth time, and eat Chez-its.
Last week I decided to decorate for the holidays for the first time. In the past I have avoided buying holiday decor by traveling during December. Some years I have had a twinge of longing to get a tree, put up stockings, and cover my house in plaid. But, overall the process of putting up the decor and then taking them down was an exhausting thought. This year though since traveling is off-limits I decided to take the plunge and join the masses by buying holiday decor. The problem is that I am now on social media and I have a blog. So I felt immense amount of pressure to “perform.” The day I planned to visit some home stores I woke up with a hive on my eye. I was incredibly stressed out by the idea of having to get my home picture perfect ready. I felt that I needed to show the world that my holiday style was aspirational and I cannot believe I am saying this, but it would garner “likes.”
I did buy holiday decor and it left me exasperated, angry, and in need of a cup of bourbon. Yes, I said a cup. Going to a crowded store is overwhelming in the best of times, but add COVID and maskless people and the agitation I felt was debilitating. I was picking items up that were not me at all. But, my new found profession told me that I need my house to look perfect. I needed the photos of me decorating in my holiday attire to look perfect. I stressed about what to wear. How should I do my makeup? Above all else, I couldn’t let my stress show. So there I was walking around Pottery Barn with a basket full of items that I honestly hated. So I put them back, grabbed some non-holiday themed decor that I know I will use long after December and called it a day.
What I want to know, is the process of decorating for the holidays stressful for anyone else? Does anyone else feel that posting photos for your friends and family heighten the pressure to have a perfectly decorated home? When did holiday cards go from candid pictures from throughout the year, to posed family photos captured by a very expensive photographer?
My house isn’t Instagram ready. My holiday decor will never look as polished as others. I have permanent dark circles under my eyes because it is 2020. But, it is not worth a mild panic attack and hives so that people on the internet think I have it all together.
